


the hobtit. hoboobit. a halfling with spice

by darladots



Category: Original Work
Genre: (but gender neutral so don't worry), Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Halflings, Other, POV First Person, boobs, i mean some SERIOUS honkers, like HUGE boobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darladots/pseuds/darladots
Summary: another friend prompt: 'a blind date with a halfling gf and she has a massive rack'no sex or nudity or nothin, just a lot of booby words
Kudos: 1





	the hobtit. hoboobit. a halfling with spice

You were nervous. And, frankly, that was okay! Understandable, even. After all, there really wasn’t a way to adequately prepare for a blind date. Perhaps if this was set up by someone you knew, you supposed, then you could ask them for some deets. But the Dungeons and Dates fantasy dating service, well, that was just an anything goes sorta situation. They didn’t even ask your name! Just kinda asked a few questions, employed some kinda _algorithm_ or whatever, and gave you a date and a place.

It’s not like this was a complete shot in the dark, though. There were those weird ads on streaming services, talking about how some lucky dude all but described how much he loved screwing his jock elf bf, and some other sequence about love beyond race. Seemed kinda cheesy, but, hell, you’d settle for a kobold or something instead of another lonely night eating macaroni from a box. By yourself, at least.

The restaurant was some terrible Fantasy Italia place, like Olive Garden but with more wizards. Gods, the Italian wizards. _il Peperoncino_ , the place was named, and it wasn’t particularly busy. That’s what happens during a full moon, but if you ran the risk of getting mauled by a werewolf on the quest for some loving companionship, then, hey, woof woof babey.

Hahh… still gonna keep a piece of silver on you, though. It was like mace for wolfpeople, but honey for pickpockets. Regardless, not like it was needed past some idle fidgetry, as you made it from home to your table, safe and sound, and flipping it between your fingers helped calm your nerves. Man, wouldn’t it suck to get stood up? You’d look like such an idiot!

Fortunately, though, not long after you had shown up, a server came along, motioning towards your table. His eye level, curiously, was low, and the reason why was made abundantly obviously as your date sauntered into view.

First thing you noticed: hey, halfling! She looked as if you had scaled down a person in an editing program, and, as you eyeballed her, it really didn’t seem like she was more than three feet tall. And eyeball her you did, because there was a second thing you noticed almost immediately after the first: boob!

Two of em!

This girl was _stacked_. Honestly, if you couldn’t see her calves and the hints of some powerful thighs emerging from her bright yellow skirt (something that also caught your attention), you’d wonder how she was able to carry it all. Hell, you still wondered: the rack she was hauling would have been big on a person your size! And yet, the hefty curve, barely secured behind a green sweater vest, bobbled triumphantly from the halfling’s core.

“Oh, oh, oh, uh, s-sorry I’m late! Whoops, heh, I got stuck on the bus, you know…” As she nervously stepped towards her seat, you wondered if she literally got, like, physically stuck. As she hopped up onto her chair, your halfling date’s chest heaved up in a way that had you seeing stars. And, as she scooted forward, she found herself facing pushback frontwards, in a scenario you could only have seen in a dream. Her titties bumped into the napkin dispenser, which skidded over the table and fell on the floor. You were too busy ogling to notice.

Seriously. This shit was absurd. And, after a sigh and grunt of effort, your date hoisted her bust up to prop itself atop the table. “Hrrrmgh, sorry…! Anyway, uh, so, h-hi! I’m not being too presumptious here, uh… you’re supposed to be the person I’m meeting, uh, for the… b-blind date thing, right?” Dumbly, you nodded, which caused her to grin. That smile could warm an entire arctic base.

“Huzzah! Well, hiya, it’s so nice to meet you~! I’m Maya, and I work in sales!” Somehow, it felt like she probably was good at selling things. Her appearance didn’t exactly scream business girl; between her bright yellow skirt and strained green sweater vest, it looked like she had some kind of button-up under all of it.

…okay, maybe she did look business-y. Honestly, other things were catching your attention. Aside from her clothes, which included a pair of lime green crocs (okay… now _those_ were catching your attention), she had thick, curly dark red hair, and a nice burgundy tinge to her lips. Neon crocs aside, she definitely seemed to take care of her appearance. 

Anyway, after the standard meet and greet, telling her your name and your field (not specific positions-- don’t want to run the chance of either bragging or looking like a dope, not when there’s a cute girl at stake), it was time to get to the most painful time of the night: smalltalk.

Nine painful, quiet seconds later, it had already felt like you had blown it. Maya was looking around awkwardly, fidgeting slightly. You too, as the piece of silver was flying between your fingers, faster and faste-

_clunk_

Oh shit! You dropped it. Maya noticed the noise, and instinctively bent to the side to check under the table, but was stopped by the buffer of sweater-enrobed boobflesh. She looked briefly annoyed, before you quickly brought a hand under the table in order to fumble under there. Chin to table, you and Maya awkwardly stared at one another until you felt the silver, which you brought up, triumphantly!

...instinctively, triumphantly. At risk of looking like a dork, you lowered it sheepishly, causing Maya to giggle. God, she was cute. “Oh, you dropped some silver? Always good to have some on you, right~?” Her arm plunged into her own neckline, shoving one button free and opening up her… neckline, before revealing her bounty: a little silver pendant hanging around her neck!

Wow, you… didn’t see that, originally. Must’ve been hiding. Maya giggled again, before stuffing the piece back into her cleavage. “You know what I’m surprised about, though? You didn’t, like, go under the table and look, you just reached around under there. Most people use it as an excuse to look at me under the table.” You could feel a bit of a blush form as she tittered once more. “Oh, c’mon, that’s a compliment! It’s a good thing!”

Soon, though, the server was here to take your order. Both you and Maya had spent a few minutes perusing the menu, which is when you got to scope out how she ordered food in this particular predicament. Since her massive tits took up the immediate area in front of her, she instead held the menu up, over her head, and looked up at it. 

After you made your choice, and she made hers (a pasta bowl filled with gnocchi), it was back to easing into chatter, and it became easier as the night went on. As you two talked, you found out what she sold (pipes), and who her major market was (people who need pipes, surprisingly). Work stuff was boring, though, and the topic floated past that to movies.

“Oh man, I’m so psyched for that new orc cop movie! I loved the original one, despite what everyone else said.” What a film. Strange how the sequel was coming out in theaters, since wasn’t the original one digital-original? “Yeah, I, uh, guess I really like a good action movie! Not one of those mindless ones, I like the ones with a message.”

Wait, she had mentioned something earlier about liking giant transforming robot movies. Instantly, her tone grew dismissive. “Hey. There’s… messages in those. At least one person texts someone else… or a robot or something.” As she spoke, she had been tearing pieces of her bread bowl off and popping them in her mouth. Those melons warming the table in front of her, coupled with her short reach, meant that a server had to pull out a stool to sit her food on. Fortunately, it was tall enough to just about reach her mouth level, so she was having a fine time.

Well… a fine time until an elven busser squeezed past the server, who was carrying drinks on a platter. The server’s balance was thrown off, and, suddenly, Maya had found herself covered in water and lemon-slices.

“BLECH! Ack! What the-” Yeah, she was pretty surprised. Immediately, you offered her a few napkins, as you had just noticed the dispenser on the floor. Wonder how it got there? Regardless, as you forked fistfuls and fistfuls of wadded-up napkins over to Maya, something was becoming abundantly clear. 

That sweater vest had to come off.

It was soaked, and not getting any drier. And not only did you know this, but Maya knew this, and she had to make a bold request. “Hey, uh… can ya help me pop this thing off? I can feel a friggin ice cube sliding down my ba~ahaack!” Well… she did ask you. The only right thing to do would be to comply. 

It was clear immediately why she had asked you to help, as, even with you tugging at the hem of her vest, it wasn’t coming off. Sure, you kinda had a bad grip, but… well, there wasn’t exactly a graceful way of grabbing onto it. Not that this stopped Maya, who, frustrated, grumbled, “You need to… actually grab it, you know?” Before you could grapple with this, though, she would grab your hand with her own, pushing your hand up to cradle the underside of her bust. 

It almost felt like some kind of prank, but it was very very real. And, as Maya started tugging at the neckline of her vest, it kickstarted you into grasping onto the sweater tenderly cradling her vast rack and yoinking upwards. With the proper amount of force now applied, it took no effort to pop that sweater vest right off of her. She also moaned slightly, but, uh… you weren’t going to focus on that. That was something to think about later.

Now, though, Maya’s woes weren’t over. Yes, she was free from her verdant prison, but, as the vest came off, a couple more ice cubes tumbled into her chest, causing her to jump and let out a “GyaaACK!” Her own hands were enough to handle this one, but, in her rush, a few more buttons popped loose from her shirt. Fresh off of the high of dominating that sweater, a glance down provided you with an extra reward on top of that: a soft canyon you just wanted to toss yourself into, one rivaling any piddly little crack in Fantasy Colorado. Maya’s titties were sublime, but her cleavage was downright inviting. Like a downy sleeping bag after a long cold night in the woods, you just wanted to crawl in and fall asleep.

Substantially less blissed out was Maya, who managed to fish out the last few cubes of ice out of her cleavage. And, fortunately for you, her attention was focused solely on the server, who was as pale as the horse death rode on. 

Fortunately for you, the meal was free. Maya didn’t even have to work any ‘sales magic’ she might have up her sleeves, the server just offered to comp the meal and a free dessert! It was enough to pull your mind away from the light of god that had just graced you earlier, but, as she was spooning tiramisu into her mouth, Maya piped up with, “You knooooow, I could see you, right~?”

Fortunately, maybe because of the way your face looked, Maya took it like a champ, as she belted out with a laugh. “Ohahaha…! Oh man, don’t worry, didn’t I, like… moan when you pulled the sweater off of me? Don’t worry about it, but, uh, I do have something kinda important to ask you, though…”

Oh, shit, those were words. None you ever wanted to receive in a text, at least. “You’re not doing anything else tonight, right? Cause I could use a buddy, and, after all the fun we’ve had tonight, I don’t really want this night to end so early…” Oh, those were words you did want to hear, nevermind.

“So… whattya say~?"


End file.
